A trip to meet someone for the first time costs money in places that are easy to forget. The flight and the hotel are on everyone’s list. The visa fee, the travel insurance, the cancellation cost, the bank charges, the local transport, the cost of her journey and a reserve for the day when something goes wrong are on very few lists. This guide gives you the full list and a way to turn it into a number.
We do not state any price. The only figures in this guide are the ones you will collect yourself, and the example in the worksheet uses round numbers that are made up and labelled as such. For the official fees of a visa, use the embassy or visa centre page, as explained in the guide on visas for visiting.
The principle: budget the trip, not the dream
Write down the cost of the trip as a whole, including both travellers’ costs if you intend to share them. Then decide, before you leave, what you are willing to spend and what you are not. A budget that is fixed in advance protects you in two situations: when a price rises at the last minute and when a pressure to spend more arrives from another person.
Spend only on things that you can see, verify and control: a flight you have booked yourself, a hotel you have chosen and paid on a platform with a clear cancellation rule, a visa fee paid on the official page. Treat every request to send money to a private person, a “coordinator” or an unknown company as a warning sign. The guide on the first meeting and the safety checklist says more about this.
The cost lines for your own trip
Go through these lines in order. For each one, find a real quote from a real provider and write the date next to it.
- Transport to the destination and back. Compare a flexible fare and a restricted fare. Include the cost of transfers between the airport and the city, and the cost of getting to your own departure airport.
- Accommodation. Count the nights, add city taxes if they apply, and read the cancellation conditions. A slightly higher price with free cancellation is a protection, not a luxury.
- Visa and passport. The visa fee, the service fee of a visa centre if one is used, the cost of photographs and of a new passport if yours does not meet the validity conditions.
- Travel insurance. Medical, cancellation and repatriation, with the exact policy conditions. Remember that a policy can be void when you travel against official advice, as explained in the guide on travel advisories.
- Local transport. Taxis, trains, public transport. Choose licensed taxis or a service booked through a platform, and know the approximate price before you ride.
- Meals and meetings. A budget for the days, including the occasions where you invite her. This is a choice, not an obligation.
- Communication. Roaming charges, a local SIM or an eSIM so that you have data to use maps and translation.
- Banking. The charges for cash withdrawals, for payments in another currency and for foreign card transactions. Ask your bank whether your card works in the country and whether any restriction applies, and carry a second payment method.
- Health and documents. Any vaccination, certificate or test that the destination requires, which you can find on the official page.
- A reserve. See below.
The costs of her journey
If she travels to meet you, her costs are real, and they are part of the plan. Decide before you talk about the details whether you will share them, how, and what you are willing to pay.
Rules that protect both of you:
- Pay the provider, not the person. If you decide to cover part of her trip, buy the ticket or the hotel yourself on the provider’s site and send her the confirmation. Do not send cash or a transfer to her account or to an intermediary.
- Agree on the principle first. It is normal for two adults to discuss who pays for what. It is not normal for the discussion to become a condition of the relationship.
- Know that a request is also information. A person who asks for money after a few weeks and before meeting is giving you a reason to stop. A person who refuses an offer that you have made to pay the provider directly is telling you something too.
Three ways to split the costs
Two adults who plan a meeting can organise the money in several ways. None is right for everyone, and each has a condition that keeps it safe.
- Each pays their own way. This is the simplest arrangement and the one that produces the fewest misunderstandings. The condition is that both can afford their part without strain, so be honest about the budget before you choose the city.
- One covers a defined part. For example, one person books the hotel while the other buys the ticket. The condition is that the defined part is written in a short message, with the provider’s confirmation attached, so there is no room for later reinterpretation.
- Costs are shared by percentage. Useful when incomes are very different. The condition is that you agree the percentage first, keep the receipts, and settle at the end through a method that leaves a record.
Whatever you choose, decide it in writing before booking, keep the payments with providers and not with persons, and accept that a no is an acceptable answer on either side.
The worksheet
Copy this table into a spreadsheet and fill the column with real quotes. The example column uses round numbers that are made up, only to show how the arithmetic works.
| Line | Quote (date, provider) | Example (illustration only) |
|---|---|---|
| Flights, round trip | 900 | |
| Transfers | 80 | |
| Accommodation, nights x price | 6 x 110 = 660 | |
| Visa and passport costs | 100 | |
| Travel insurance | 90 | |
| Local transport | 120 | |
| Meals and meetings | 300 | |
| Communication and banking | 70 | |
| Subtotal | 2 320 | |
| Reserve (see below) | 464 | |
| Total to set aside | 2 784 |
The example numbers have no source and no connection with any real price. They show the method, nothing else.
The reserve rule
Add a reserve to the subtotal. We suggest at least a fifth of it, and we say so as a planning habit, not as a figure drawn from any source. A reserve covers the changes that cannot be predicted: a cancelled flight, an extra night, a replaced phone, a pharmacy, a taxi that costs more than the price you had expected.
Keep the reserve apart from the money you plan to spend and promise yourself that you will not use it for anything else unless an event from the list occurs. If the trip ends without a problem, you have saved the money, and that is the best result.
Payment safety
- Pay with a card that offers dispute rights, and avoid bank transfers to individuals, money-transfer services and gift cards for any payment connected with the trip.
- Never pay in advance for an “invitation,” a “guarantee,” a “permit,” or a “meeting fee” to a person or a company you have not independently verified. If a fee is genuinely official, you will find it on a government page.
- Keep every confirmation, receipt and message in one folder, with the dates.
- Do not carry large amounts of cash. Carry a modest amount, keep a card in another place, and keep the numbers to call if a card is lost.
If you suspect that you are being scammed, stop sending money and read the reporting pages of your national agency, which are listed in our FAQ.
When a price seems wrong
Prices can look wrong for innocent reasons: a different season, a different cancellation rule, a different currency. They can also look wrong for the other reason. Check:
- Is the price for the same product? Compare dates, cancellation terms, baggage and included services.
- Who is the seller? A name, an address, a registration and a payment page of a known platform are minimum conditions.
- Is there pressure? A deadline created by the seller, a demand for immediate payment or a warning that “the offer ends tonight” is a pressure tactic.
- Can you pay in a way that you can reverse? If not, the answer is probably no.
A short example of how a budget protects you
Suppose that the quote for the hotel rises after you have decided on the dates, and a second person suggests that you “just pay the difference” to them to keep the booking. A budget with the lines above lets you answer in one minute: the hotel is booked on a platform with free cancellation, and you will rebook there if the price is unacceptable. The budget turns a pressure into a question that has an answer.
Sources
- GOV.UK, Foreign Travel Advice: insurance and advisory statements (consulted 6 November 2026). gov.uk/foreign-travel-advice/russia
- Government of Canada, Travel advice and advisories: entry and exit requirements (consulted 6 November 2026). travel.gc.ca/destinations/ukraine